The Ties That Bind
by RedCatCatalano
Summary: Ten years after they parted company, Angela Chase has just taken an important life changing decision whilst Jordan had has been dragged back to Pennsylvania with an important life change of his own. As past, present and family loyalties crash into each other, what havoc will be unleashed as old flames come in contact with one another. Angela/Jordan/OC RATED M
1. Chapter 1

**Hello old friends, I'm back after a long hiatus. This a story I've been meaning to write for quite a while. I hope you like it. It's a big departure from my previous story Driving Lessons, it'll be a little more real. Tell me if you think it's worth continuing and I'll get another chapter up ASAP. Please be warned there is Mature themes in the first chapter.**

 **By for now.**

 **-RedCatCatalano**

It was as if time had frozen around her. Her breath stopped, her blood chilled and the low hum of the full restaurant disappeared as if they were in vacuum. Angela Chase had always heard that your life could flash before eye in moments of danger. Like a twisted movie of your entire life. All your regrets, pain and triumphs. All the little vignettes of small important moments and people you knew and loved. The essence of what was truly important in your existence. Maybe it was survival instinct, like a reminder of what remained for you to fight for in the world, but Angela wasn't in a life threatening situation. In fact it should have been an instance of joy, of celebration and of love and definitely not what she felt instead. As everything remained in a stress induced suspension, her lungs burned for Oxygen, her muscles for release, but she couldn't move. Her past was too strong for anything her body willed her to do and she was lost to memory.

Years seemed to race passed her mind's eye. The early remembrances of being carried on her father's shoulders and the first time she rode a bike, those long summers in Virginia beach at her grandparents small condo and long lost childhood games she'd played as the evening closed all around her and her friends. Soon the rapid flickering images of times long forgotten reached her adolescence and seemed to slow as the first tinges of adulthood came into her psyche. Pausing when she gotten her first unexpected real kiss at a family member's wedding, the moment she'd dyed her hair that bright shade of magenta, the night she'd been driven home by the police. As the hazy images leapt from moment to moment, a face seemed to form stronger out of the ether, two familiar eyes boring out of the smog. Vivid and preternaturally blue, depthless as he stared across at her in the high school hallway. Jordan freaking Catalano.

Time had always seemed to move different around him, the young man who'd always seemed to belong to some other world. Angela Chase knew nothing had ever fascinated her more in her life until even now in her twenty seventh year of life, as her attempts to understand what went on inside his head when she was fifteen. Her almost lover and reluctant friend, the boy could simultaneous draw her in and push her away in a moment like the constant flow of tides. Jordan had always had that effect on her, an electricity so strong she'd resolved to keep herself at an arm's length when it came to emotions, lest she be destroyed in the inevitable strike. If you dared to stick your fingers in a socket, you were bound to get hurt. Yet now and again, her willpower waned and she allowed herself a brief interlude in eye of the storm.

It had been hard to cut him completely out her life even after the letter fiasco, Jordan had made her promise they could at least be friends. He had sworn he'd jump of the damn railway bridge if he couldn't at least speak to her again. They'd sat for the longest time in his car on that night after her initial anger, speaking but not really talking, it had never been their strong point. For a while all they did was listen to low sounds of the music on the radio, each lost to their thoughts. Grieving in some ways for what could have been. He'd driven home close to midnight and Angela had let him kiss her one last time on her front porch. It didn't seem like goodbye, but the final line in one chapter of life and in some ways the beginning of another.

Despite the lingering attraction between them both, Angela and Jordan became good friends. By senior year of high school, Angela was as important in Jordan's circle of friends as Shane, part and parcel of the fabric of his life. He was her shoulder to cry on when boyfriend's left her and she was his get out of jail free card when recent conquests tried to follow him home. Angela had lost count of how many times she'd had to hide him in her room, after he'd climbed through her window at 2am on a Friday night. Every time he'd jokingly proposition her, tell her how much hotter she was now and if she would sharing mind that lovely comfortable double bed. Angela would usually smirk, roll her eyes, throw him a pillow and point at the floor. Every now and again she'd internally hesitate and wonder what would happen if she did invite him into her bed. Good sense always won out, for one it may bring complications that her life really didn't need. Jordan would always be gone when she'd wake the next day, no trace of him save for crumpled pillow on the floor and an apple by her bedside locker. The gesture had always been a mystery to her, but the presence of the rosy apple always made her smile. Jordan would never tell her why he did it, haughtily silent about his own private little joke. Angela had even dared to ask to one of Jordan's unlucky repeated bed mates if he'd ever done the same for them and all she'd gone was a frosty scowl in response. Eventually the answer came from Shane one late Saturday night after a few too many beers.

"When Jordan was a kid, before his Mom died, she always used to leave him a bright rosy apple by his bed before she left for work. She said it was because he was the apple of her eye. The thing she loved most in the world. If he's giving you apples, he's trying very hard to tell you something he can't say with words".

Angela had shaken her head at his answer, dismissing it as ridiculous, Jordan Catalano was not trying to tell her he loved her, well not in the way that Shane Taylor seemed to believe he did. And so they're friendship continued on unscathed. With many gifts of apples and early morning conversations in her room.

By the time the last few weeks of high school rolled around a panic had begun to rise up Angela. Now that her future had been somewhat secured by a coveted college place at Boston College and the ending of the academic race that had been senior year, Angela's mind was free to wander onto other pressing matters. Whether it was the sudden realisation of the very real end of last bastion of childhood that was high school, the fear of change and college or some other unknown factor, Angela became fixated on one thing. Sex.

It wasn't some arbitrary fascination with mechanic and sordid nature of the act, but the perpetration of the act itself. Despite having had a multitude of past boyfriends, Angela Chase had never actually lost her virginity. Sure she'd skirted close to it a few time and was by no means inexperienced in other areas of intimacy, but hadn't yet taken that last final step. Held back some romantic notion the person had to mean something very substantial to her, an archaic principle that baffled both Rayanne and Sharon. Hell even the painfully introverted and private Rickie had had sex. So as the last month of school came around, the idea that she was going to enter college as a virgin became almost abhorrent. Angela was determined that before high school ended, so would her status as virgin.

Her friends were more than willing to help her choose a suitable partner. Could it be one of Sharon boyfriend's jock friends, that arty kid Rickie had a secret crush on, maybe even that nice stoner guy Rayanne swore had skills hidden by his laid back demeanour. Yet none of there suggestions seemed to elicit any kind of enthusiasm from Angela. Despite a conscious effort to find her a fuck buddy, her friends were soon frustrated by her pickiness.

"Angela, you are without doubt the most frustratingly choosey sex obsessed virgin I've ever met" Sharon had complained as she slouched in Angela's couch "At this rate you might as well sleep with Jordan Catalano" she added sarcastically. It was then the answer dawned on Angela Chase.

"That's it! Sharon you're a genius. How could I be so dumb?" Angela laughed. Sharon had eyed her suspiciously.

"You can't be serious, Jordan Catalano! Really? If you're trying to ruin a perfectly good platonic relationship I think you should go with Brian Krakow. God knows that boy needs to get laid more than anyone I know"

"No. Look Sharon I want my first time to be somewhat enjoyable so I need someone who knows what they're doing. At the same time I don't think I'll be able to go all the way with anyone I don't trust. So it has to be a friend." Angela had said solemnly.

"Angela I really don't think…." Sharon began.

"Plus at least I know he's clean, I drove him to the clinic last week…." Angela mused as Sharon rolled her eyes, already resigned to the fact Angela had made up her mind despite the glaring stupidity of the choice.

Jordan had been just as reticent about her plan when she'd brought it up the next day as they'd sat in the Loft after band practise. The others had left to buy pizza and Angela took the moment alone to present her plan.

"Chase I really don't think that's a good idea." Jordan had said awkwardly, unable to look at her as an uncharacteristic blush rose up his cheeks.

"Why not? You're one of my best friends, we have great chemistry, I trust you to handle the whole thing….right. Is it because you don't think I'm attractive" she'd said plainly. Jordan had shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably as he tried to explain his resistance.

"Angela I think you're a knock out. I can't….. because you _are_ my best girl friend, it could ruin things for us."

Angela had paused as he had point.

"Look I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend, I'm not even asking you to cuddle after the fact, just help me over this last hurdle. I can't imagine making this last step with anyone but you. I'm too afraid." she'd said quietly.

"Angela I can't." Jordan said unhappily, looking anywhere but her disappointed face. She'd risen from the beaten old armchair with a tightened jaw, her eyes flashing angrily.

"Fine, I'll go ask Shane." she'd muttered bitterly.

Before he'd had a chance to think, Jordan had rushed forward and caught her arm. Suddenly finding the protectiveness over her, trumped his own self-doubts.

"Stop." He'd said firmly. Staring down at her uncertainly, he gave into her difficult request.

"I'll do it okay, just make me one promise" he'd sighed "Nothing changes between us".

Angela nodded seriously.

"Of course"

It was a week later on a warm summers evening that the day finally came to do the deed. Everything had worked out as planned. Angela's parents and her sister had gone to Philadelphia to visit her grandparents, while she had feigned stomach pains to stay home. Angela would always remember that moment she'd opened the door to Jordan, knowing the second he step inside her house, everything would become real. That they were really going to do this. She could see in his eyes he was nervous, of what she wasn't sure. He'd had sex many times before, but in that instance she swore he looked like a lost little boy. Angela hadn't been sure if she should dress up or not, would it seem even more forced and false of an act if she tried to dress more alluringly. On the other hand, she couldn't exactly expect Jordan to muster any desire if she wore her ratty old sweats. Settling for a simple dress with a little sneak of cleavage and a dash of mascara she felt as if she'd struck the balance quite well. Not that it mattered all that much, she could have worn a giant sack and felt overexposed as the weight of what was about to happen hit her.

"Hey." She'd said quietly with obvious nervousness as she leaned against the door.

"Hi" Jordan replied with equal fear. Taking a deep breath, Angela opened the door wider.

"Come on in" she smiled.

They'd sat side by side on her bed for the longest time, not looking at one another, unsure of how to begin. Angela had never felt so excited and uncomfortable at the same time in her entire life. Terrified to make the first move. Jordan didn't have a clue what to do either. Sure he'd slept with quite a few girls, but this was different. She was different, he actually gave damn.

After a while, the awkwardness became too much for Angela to handle.

"Maybe I should put on some music?" she suggested, rising from the bed. Jordan nodded, gulping a little. Why was he finding it so hard to concentrate on the task at hand? He watched with growing interest as she searched her cd collection for the right one, bending over as she searched a stray box. Now without the pressure of her right beside him, he began to focus on the girl in front of him as she distracted herself with her search. Even though for the last year and half they had been nothing but friends to one another, he would be lying if he didn't admit he found her beautiful. And was certainly enjoying the view right now. As he looked at the light fabric tighten across her rear he felt the start of a stirring in his pants. His nervousness forgotten for a moment. He was ready.

"Stop" he said quietly. Angela turned to him with a look of slight confusion.

"Just turn on the radio and come here." He said gently reaching out his hand to her.

Doing as she was told, Angela walked the final feet to Jordan and took his hand. He smiled up at her sweetly in an effort to calm her nerves. Angela smiled back briefly, her body remaining tense. Still sitting on the bed, Jordan gently pulled her toward him. Placing his hands on her hips he hitched her dress up a little as he pulled her toward his lap. Her face was now ablaze as she was guided into a straddling position on his lap, her hands securely on his shoulders. Angela forced herself to look at his face, instantly relaxing as she saw the soft smile on his mouth and gentle look in his eyes. Something soothed her in those big blue eyes.

"Angela, I'm going to kiss you now if that's okay" Jordan said huskily barely above a whisper, reaching up to sweep the hair out of her face, his hand lingering on her cheek. He couldn't help but remark just how beautiful she looked in the half light of the dark room, her eyes bright and innocent. Angela nodded at this question and leaned closer to him with short tense breath as she moved her hands to rest at the nape of neck, her fingers intertwining in the soft hair at the back. Jordan couldn't help but smile at the action, so reminiscent of a time not so long ago. The boy he was then would have jumped at the chance he now had in front of him. How circumstances had changed.

Her warm breath ticked his lips as she rested her forehead against his, eyes scrunched closed in anxious anticipation. Closing the gap, her whole body leaned into him as their mouths touched. At first it was only tentative short caresses of the lips, the familiar taste of one another comforting and safe. As their kisses became longer in length, so did their force. Soon Angela's tongue was playing against his and all the world seemed to unravel in front of him. He wasn't supposed to be enjoying this as much as he clearly was. Angela pulled away suddenly, staring downward in slight surprise

"Is that….?" She began with a slight grin. Jordan blushed, it wasn't just his lips that had reacted to her touch.

"Eh… yeah. You're quite a good kisser" Jordan said with an embarrassed smirk. Throwing back her head in laughter, Angela looked at him with unexpected delight.

"That's good to know" she said with a smile, leaning in to give him a slow, lingering kiss.

"Does that mean, we should just…" she said between kisses "get it over with right now?"

"What, like right now while you're sitting on me?" Jordan exclaimed, surprised by her sudden eagerness.

"Well we're almost half way there clearly" she groaned as Jordan moved to kiss her neck. He thought about it for a moment, deciding if it was right or not. It might hurt her more if they didn't do it slow.

Jordan pulled back and shook his head.

"No. Let's get in the bed first. No need to rush it" He said seriously.

Angela looked uncomfortable again.

"What? Are you having second thoughts?" Jordan said gently, noticing her unhappy face.

"No it's not that. I just didn't want to undress in front of you" she said shyly.

"Then don't, we'll both get under the covers and undress that way." Jordan said sweetly.

Angela's face brightened.

"Okay" she said with a weak smile.

A few minutes later both of them lay underneath the thick comforter, their awkwardness returning as the last item of clothing was removed and thrown to the floor. The panic in her chest was now tenfold in her state of complete undress, her heart pounded as she became hyperaware that Jordan lay completely naked next to her. His chest was heaving as he stared at the ceiling. He was suddenly afraid too. Watching him out of the corner of her eye, she couldn't help but drink in the perfect planes of his face. Her eyes roved down to the small amount of his chest she could see above the covers, the toned and slightly tanned skin rising up and down as he tried to quell his anxiety. Marvelling at her so called friend's physique she felt a little flutter inside herself. It was now or never.

This time it was Angela's turn to be brave, breathing deep she reached under the blanket and caught his hand in hers. Looking at him calmly she interlaced her fingers in his as he looked back.

"Kiss me again Jordan" she said steadily. Jordan looked at her like a deer caught in headlights for a second as he snapped back to reality. He simply nodded at her request. Squeezing his hand in hers, he rolled onto his side and placed his free hand on her face. Starting as they previously had, he kissed her soft and slow before a sudden heat hit them both and they became deeper and harder. Daring to move his hand from her face to below the comforter to her breast, Jordan couldn't help but feel encouraged as she bit down on his lip in response. There was nothing platonic about the way she looked at him as he drew back for a breath, her fingers tracing the planes of his stomach and Jordan's crotch twitched again against her hip. Her eyes were dark and fiery and Jordan's own gaze became distinctly hungry as he looked down at her as they took a brief break. No words were exchanged, they didn't need to be. Reaching up to him, Angela pulled his mouth back down to hers, kissing him now with a passion Jordan didn't even know she had. Before he even knew it, he was fully on top of her, his hardness resting between her legs and his hands in places he'd never thought she'd ever let him go. Angela too was touching him more bravely than he'd ever imagined. Friends weren't supposed to elicit feelings like this in each other. Angela groaned against his mouth as his fingers ghosted over her increasingly wet body. She was getting close, as was he as everything started to throb painfully . But he had to be sure before they went the final furlong.

"Angela" he whispered between fevered kisses "I can't take it much longer. I want to be inside you, but I don't want to do it if you're not ready."

She nodded, her flushed face contorting in pleasure from the rapid movement of Jordan's fingers.

"I'm ready" she whispered huskily.

"Are you sure?" Jordan said quietly.

Biting her lip she nodded again.

"Look at me then" Jordan said calmly, stilling his hands and resting them on her hips.

Angela opened up her eyes and looked at him bewilderedly.

"Why?" she said worriedly.

"I want to see your eyes when I do it for the first time, I've never seen it" he said sweetly, giving her a look that made her insides melt a little.

"Well I'm looking at you now." She said archly and Jordan gave her a brief smile.

Without further invitation, Jordan slowly pushed himself into her centre, savour the sudden surge of excitement that came across Angela's eyes as he entered her.

"You okay?" he whispered softly, she nodded as a groan exited her mouth as he pulled back slightly and thrust back in deeper. He knew it must hurt a little more than she'd admit, so he didn't do much other than move in and out a glacial pace until her body seemed to relax again under his kiss.

"Can I go a little faster Angie?" he whispered lazily, simply enjoying the feeling of her wrapped around his hardness.

"Definitely" she replied, biting his lip again seductively.

Gingerly he picked up the pace a little until her breathing began to get heavier and her groans deeper. Angela cried out his name and couldn't help to thrust a little deeper, hoping his exuberance wouldn't hurt her. It wasn't long before he arrived to the precipice of ejaculation, thankfully he got Angela to come just before his own resistance gave in. Her release hadn't been an all-encompassing explosion as he'd hoped but at least her first time had been somewhat a success. The serene look that passed across her features as the quaking slowed within her made Jordan feel something he'd never experienced before. He quickly pushed it aside, know it would only complicate things. Now was not the time to even entertain those thoughts.

"You okay" he whispered, kissing her nose as she shivered below him.

"I'm good" she said unsteadily. Slowly disentangling himself from her, Jordan lay on his back, basking in the glow of his orgasm. They lay there in silence as the slowly came down from their peak.

"Was that okay" Jordan said seriously, a sudden return of his awkwardness making it hard for him to look at Angela right now.

"It was nice. Thank you. "Angela said quietly not knowing what else to add, acutely aware of what they'd just done.

Did people normally feel this self-conscious after sex, particularly sex with someone she knew as well as she knew Jordan?

They lay there again in distinct embarrassment and Jordan groaned internally, fearful their friendship was well and truly damaged. After a while Angela cleared her throat.

"Don't take this the wrong way Catalano, but you need to leave. My parents will be home in about 15 minutes and I'd rather not try and explain why we're naked and in bed together." Angela said with a wry smile.

"Why, you're Mom loves me" Jordan retorted with a grin.

"Yeah but my Dad doesn't" she said with another smile. Thankful they could regain some small bit of friendly banter.

"Okay, I'd rather not be murdered today" he shrugged with a grin, swinging himself out of her bed to retrieve his clothes. Another rush of unknown feeling overtook him as he sneaked a look at Angela as she pulled on her underwear. Jordan swallowed again, this was not good.

Not long after both of them stood by front door, a linger awkwardness surrounding them.

"So I'll see you at Dean's party tomorrow?" Angela asked hopefully, trying desperately to regain some semblance of normality.

"Maybe" Jordan shrugged, not really looking at her.

"Okay" she said quietly, a little annoyed by his sudden coldness.

"I'll see you around than I guess Catalano?"

"I guess" he replied, biting at his thumb.

She looked at him in frustration, not understanding his distance when he was the one who didn't things to change. Lord knows she was trying to remain level-headed after the things he'd made her feel.

"Anyway, I got to go change the sheets before my Mom gets home "she said simply.

Jordan nodded and leaned to give her a quick half-hearted hug before turning on his heel.

Angela watched him leave with a sinking feeling, what was going on with him?

As Jordan walked back to his car without a word he allowed himself to collapse into the seat, the beginning of a very real panic attack hitting him. That feeling he'd felt earlier just kept rising up in him, a feeling that just wouldn't quit. This breathless, tightening that always seemed to get worse every time he looked at Angela lately. He was the one who didn't want anything to change, so why was it he wanted nothing more than to go back into that house and kiss her till her knees went from under her. Thumping the steering wheel with his hand, he turned the engine on. The only solution was to get very, very drunk.

After that evening, Angela didn't see much of Jordan for nearly three weeks. It was if he was actively avoiding her. Which was hard considering most of his friends were hers too. It hurt to be honest, like she'd been used and abused. Sharon and Jordan's fears had been founded, it had destroyed their friendship. It hadn't meant to be like this, sure she'd expected some change, but being utterly ignore was the worst possible outcome. When she'd asked Shane why, after another incident of Jordan leaving without a second glance at her after band practise, he only had one word.

"Apples Angela. Apples."

She dismissed his theory as ridiculous. Jordan was just being an ass, for one she knew for a fact he'd slept with Cyndi the very next day. Hardly the action of a guy suffering from deep and meaningful emotions toward her. He was probably avoiding her as he mistakenly believed she wanted something more than they'd agreed out of the deal. She chose to ignore him back and just get on with life. Even if his usual womanising ways were starting get on her nerves.

Two nights before graduation, she was awoken suddenly by thump in her room of someone climbing in her window. She tried to suppress the urge to scream as the dark shape approached her and sat down at the edge of the bed. Outside a thunderstorm rumbled which had thankfully masked the intruders stumble into her room to her sleeping parents. Angela knew it had to be Jordan. Scrambling for the bedside lamp, the familiar face stared at her intently. He was soaking wet, his hair dark and dripping down onto his rosy, perfect cheeks. Clearly he'd been wandering around in the rain for quite a while. She could smell the distinctive aroma of alcohol off him, which partly explained his fixed and unblinking gaze.

"Jordan what the hell are you doing here? It's 1am. And why were you wandering around outside in this weather?" she whispered hurriedly, sitting up in her bed. She hugged her legs into herself and Jordan inched forward.

"I needed to tell you something." He mumbled back, his eyes still fixed and serious "But couldn't find the courage for a while. Rain didn't bother me though" he shrugged. She looked at him carefully, not sure what to expect.

"Okay? What do you need to tell me?" she said patiently, knowing in this state it was almost better to speak to like child.

Jordan's brow knitted in concentration, before his gaze dropped to his hands.

"I miss you" he said simply.

Angela smiled a little in response, reaching out she put her hand on his arm.

"I've missed you too" she said sweetly.

"Then why have you been ignoring me?" Jordan pouted and Angela's eyebrows almost hit her hairline in surprise.

"Me ignoring you?" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air "Jordan you haven't said a word to me in three weeks and now you're here in my room in the middle of the night, completely wasted and complaining I've been ignoring you!"

Jordan pouted at her again, his inebriated indignation was almost endearing to her.

"I didn't know what to say" he sighed in defeat after a moment.

"You could have just said hello" Angela replied huffily "You made me feel like I'd been used when you suddenly decided step completely out of my life. Like it all meant nothing."

Jordan looked at her sadly.

"It's not like that." He said despondently

"Then tell what's going on in that big dumb head of yours, because I want to understand" Angela begged, wiping some the wet strands of hair away from his beautiful eyes. Angela's fingers lingered on his face for a moment, tracing the soft line of his jaw line. The look in Jordan's eyes was unreadable, guarding some great secret within him.

"Talk to me Catalano, please" she said softly, moving her hand to fully cup his cheek.

Gently he took her hand away. Holding her wrist longer than needed.

"I think I shouldn't have come" he muttered "I'm sorry."

Angela tried not to let the disappointment hurt her as much as it did.

Without another word he rose from her bed and started toward the window. Outside the rain was intensifying and tree beside her room twisted in the wind, creaking noisily. Jordan stumbled slightly as he reached the ledge. Angela rolled her eyes and groaned internally. Despite the fact her parents would kill her if they caught him here in the morning, there was no way she was letting Jordan go outside in the storm. Especially in his current state.

As Jordan struggled to widen the window in the wind, Angela caught him by the wrist.

"You are not going home like this." She said firmly. Jordan scowled at her and tried to pull his wrist free.

"I'm fine." Stepping closer to him, she looked deep into his eyes.

"No you're not and I'm not letting you potentially kill yourself by climbing out that window simply because of your own stupid pride".

Jordan breathed in deep and let her lead him away from the window.

His gaze was unreadable again as he looked down at her, Angela didn't dare break his eye contact even as she closed the window behind her in case the broken spell would make him reconsider his submission. The intensity was making her feel uncomfortable and eventually she had to look away

Clearing her throat loudly, she let go of his arm.

"I'm going to get you a towel. Stay here." She said self-consciously.

Thankfully Jordan was still in the same place when she returned, it was then she realised he didn't have any shoes. She was grateful in that instance that she'd managed to convince him to stay. Standing in front of him, she threw the towel over his head and began to dry his hair as best as she could. All the while, all Jordan did was stare at her impassively.

"Good, that's a little better" she smiled gently, finding his dishevelled hair slightly adorable.

Jordan's blank face quirked a quick smile in response. He was beginning to shiver as his wet clothes clung to his cold torso. Angela realised with a start there was only one solution or risk him getting sick.

"Jordan take off your clothes. You're freezing" Angela ordered, trying to hide the embarrassment of the request in her cheeks.

Jordan's ghost of a smile grew into a wolfish grin.

"Angela Chase are you trying to seduce me?" he said with a flirtatious glint in his eyes.

"No Jordan I'm not" she smirked despite herself, pulling the soaked sheepskin jacket off his shoulders "For one my parents are sleeping in the next room."

"We can be quiet" Jordan teased, helping her with buttons on his shirt sodden shirt.

Angela stopped what she was doing and cocked a disdainful eyebrow at him.

"Don't push your luck or I'll make you sleep on the floor".

Jordan's eyes widened.

"Wait I get to sleep in your bed" he gulped, his voice high.

"You're too cold to sleep on the floor, but don't go getting any ideas about what is going to happen" Angela said sternly, as she left him to take the last of his wet clothes off. She searched in her closet for the only thing that would fit Jordan, a pair of old track pants her Dad had given a few years back.

Angela tried to ignore the flutter in her chest as she turned to see Jordan standing aimlessly in his boxers. A flash of what happened the last time she'd had him in her room suddenly filled her mind, spreading a warmth from her abdomen down into her core. Breathing deep, she swallowed the feeling deep down.

Approaching Jordan she tossed him the sweatpants.

"Put these on. I'm going to put your clothes in the drier."

Before she'd even had a chance to turn around, Jordan had bent down and removed his boxers before tossing them to her. Her whole face went red as she turned back to the doorway, her eyes wide and shocked.

Jordan had stopped shivering by the time she had returned, the warmth of the old sweatpants raising his temperature enough to stop him shaking. He was still cold when she took his hand and pulled him into the bed.

"I'm going to spoon you and please don't take any other way than trying to warm you up." She said, pushing him over onto his side as wrapped an arm around his chilled body. They lay there for a few minutes and any initial awkwardness slipped away as they relaxed into one another.

"Oh you're warming me up alright." Jordan laughed throatily "Just not in the places you think"

"Stop enjoying this so much" Angela half groaned and half laughed "I'm still mad at you!"

"Then don't invite me into your bed in the middle of the night" Jordan chuckled again "It's just asking for trouble."

"I'm about this close to making you sleep in basement Jordan, so shut up." She giggled in spite of her apparent exasperation.

"I'm warm now, why don't you?" Jordan countered with a devilish grin, as he turned without warning to face her. Angela gaped at him as she tried to find the words, her mouth floundering in frustration at his cockiness.

"Just go to sleep Jordan." She sighed tiredly, turning on her side. He chuckled again as he lay back on his back, wondering how the hell he'd ended up here again.

Despite her demand for slumber, Angela was unable to do so. She sighed heavily and turned herself over to face him again. Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked down at Jordan quizzically.

"Why have you been so distant lately Jordan?" she asked seriously, hoping the alcohol still had enough hold over him to loosen his tongue a little. Jordan's face twisted in discomfort, he really didn't want to answer that question.

"Because, things are different now." Jordan said quietly.

"How? We both promised it wasn't going to get in way of anything. No promises, just sex." Angela said softly.

"I know that's what I said, but…..I don't know. Things just don't feel the same" Jordan sighed, looking away from her. Angela could tell there was something just on the tip of his tongue, the nub of the problem that was bothering him.

"Like what?" she answered soothingly, softly running her fingers over his bare shoulder. Jordan opened his mouth as if he was about to answer, the words rushing to surface. But he swallowed them back in.

"Forget it " he mumbled. Angela sighed and nodded in defeat. Raisin her hand to his face she ran her thumb over the worried crease near his eyes.

"Okay" she murmured with understanding. She was just about to move when Jordan placed his hand over hers, reaching up to touch her face above him with his other hand. Angela felt a sudden leap in her chest, surprised by her own response and that his touch wasn't completely unwelcome. She wasn't sure where he was going with this but she didn't resist when he leaned up and kissed her at the hollow of her throat so softly it made her breath hitch a little. Breathing in deep, he dared to do it again, this time further up toward her face. Each kiss told her every word he couldn't say. Angela should have stopped him, but before she could even contemplate sense she found herself catching his face between her hands and kissing him slow and deep. He groaned loudly as her tongue flicked against his. Angela found her breathing beginning to become shallow and sharp. A physical reaction she wasn't all that used to. Stopping to look at him with wide, uncertain eyes she could glimpse the secret that lay below his surface. His words "things are different" ringing in her ears. It was then it hit her, things were different as he'd felt something for her. The question was did she feel something like that for him. A panic hit her.

"I think I should go sleep in the guest room" Angela mumbled hurriedly sitting up. Before she could even pull back the covers to leave, Jordan had caught her face again.

"You are not going anywhere and I am going to kiss you again right now" he said with a seductive grin, enjoying the colour that rose up her face. She gulped in agreement, biting her lip and leaning back into him. She was resigned to whatever was about to happen. She couldn't help it, she was lost in all the new sensations he seemed to bring out in her.

It wasn't long until he was on top of her, moving over her body with more fluidity than the last time they'd been in this position. They hadn't even bothered to get fully undressed this time around. Passions had dictated there wasn't time enough time for that. Angela enjoyed the small increase of force this second time around, the pace steady and deliciously direct. More comfortable this time around for both of them, Jordan was in his element. Angela found new levels of pleasure as Jordan brought to her peak. This time when she came she had to bite her lip to stop from shouting loud enough to wake her parents.

Panting as he pushed off her, he gave her a satisfied grin.

"How was that, better than the last time?"

Angela's own chest was heaving as her breath returned.

"Infinitely." She grinned back "In fact…"

Suddenly she was on him, Jordan's eyes filled with delighted surprise as she leaned down to kiss him again.

"I just want to try one thing this time around" she smirked demurely, throwing caution to the wind and rocking back onto him. Jordan fell back onto the bed in bliss as she took control.

The dawn was beginning to break before either of them felt sleepy enough to stop. Outside the storm had ceased and the calm early morning sky brought streaks of pink and red into the room.

Angela leaned against Jordan's chest, lazily staring out of the window as he drew circles on her arm.

"Well that was not how I expected my Wednesday night to go." She laughed.

"Yeah me neither." Jordan replied. Turning to kiss her nose, he wondered if it was possible to feel so contented simply lying beside another person more Angela Chase. Unfortunately for them both, reality was about to bite them in the ass. He had to go home before they got caught.

Sighing loudly, he moved his arm and began to sit up.

"I better get going before you're parents wake up" he said unhappily, feeling like he never wanted to leave the warm comfort of her bed. Angela looked reluctant to see him leave too, but knew it wasn't worth the inevitable trouble it would bring if they got found.

"I'll go get your clothes, they should be dry by now" Angela said simply, pulling back on her pyjama pants and going downstairs. Jordan watched her leave, that same breathless feeling in his chest as he'd had before. Now sober, it was impossible to ignore. Even after another passion filled night with her, he still wasn't ready to admit what it was even to himself.

Soon redressed they stood by the window and Angela wondered if he would go back to ignoring her again after this. Maybe this had been a brief reprieve in his determination to avoid what was brewing within him. She wasn't sure exactly where she stood either. What was he to her now? Their first time together had been a mutual favour, this time around, what had driven it. Boredom? Teenage lust or something much deeper? Kissing him goodbye, Angela couldn't help but feel a distinct sense of foreboding as he grinned climbing out the window. Like they were playing a dangerous game in which no one would win. Sighing she climbed back into bed to try catch an hour or two of sleep before school, not knowing where things would go from there.

Much to Angela's relief, their friendship return to some semblance of normality after that night. They hung out as usual with their friends with that old sense of easy going banter and fun. They both attended the same parties, laughed and joked with the same people and shared the same funny experiences at the diner after every party. To the casual observer, nothing was out of the ordinary with their friendship. But people like Sharon, Rayanne and Shane knew exactly what else was going on. But they'd seen how Jordan had begun to look at Angela, to watch her when she was off flirting with other boys. That barely contained jealousy etched on his face. Sometimes he'd stalk off and find the first willing female victim to bury his anger in, other times he'd swallow it down and wait for her patiently. Because the others had also noticed that no matter how many guys she spoke to or kissed, on any given night, she'd almost always return to Jordan if he was still at the party. On these night, she walk over to him, take his hand in hers and give him that look that always seemed to make him smile. A smile that was only ever reserved for her. They never ever did anything at the party, maybe to retain the pretence of wholly platonic interactions between them, but Sharon knew they'd slept together many times after Angela's first time. Yet neither of them wanted to admit to anything else was going on, but their friends knew better. After the party had ended, Shane knew Jordan almost never went home.

At first Jordan's frequent nightly visits had begun as they had before, with him fleeing recently jilted lovers. Nothing ever happened those first few times, Angela was too wary of them getting caught. But she was also concerned by the look that seemed to enter Jordan's eyes every so often when he thought she couldn't see him looking at her. It happened after a while when Angela began to realise, sometimes there was no one Jordan was running from, only someone he was running to. So one night a month after graduation she invited him back into her bed. And the invitation extended to every visit Jordan made afterwards for the rest of the summer. Quite often she'd wake up alone, but there would always be a shiny red apple on her bedside locker as a sign he'd been there. It never ceased to make her smile. Despite this constant return to each other, neither wanted to define what was going on. Terrified that one wrong move would ruin it.

One day at work, Sharon had sought to find some clarity on the issue.

"Angela how can you say you guys are not together, I know to your house five nights of the last eight" she exclaimed, handing her best friend a tin of tomatoes as they restocked the shops shelves.

"What!? How can y…" Angela began.

"Don't even try to deny it" Sharon said sternly, standing with her hand on her hip "You live across the street from Brian Krakow and he see's all".

"Fine, he's been visiting me a lot lately but nothing happens" Angela replied huffily, rearranging a collection of canned vegetables on the shelf.

"Sure….and Elton John is utterly straight. Come on Angela stop denying it" Sharon urged persuasively. Angela sighed heavily.

"Fine I've slept with Jordan once or twi…" Angela began but Sharon's cocked eye brow made her stop.

"Okay I've slept with Jordan a lot lately, but it doesn't mean we're together. Hell Rayanne has slept with Tino every night this week and you're not accusing of being in a relationship."

"Yes but Rayanne's a highly functioning sociopath, hardly someone you measure normality against!" Sharon replied with a smirk. Angela rolled her eyes at her old friend .

"Fine, point taken. Me and Jordan though…. It's just an itch we both need scratching and he's incredibly good at scratching it." Angela said with an embarrassed smile, turning to stack more cans.

"Okay that would be more believable if you were both sleeping with other people."

"Jordan is." Angela said simply, a slight frown on her face.

"And can you say it honestly doesn't bother you?" Sharon probed.

Angela shrugged nonchalantly.

"It is what it is. He's not boyfriend so he's free to do what he wants as long as he doesn't give me anything from his activities."

"So if you're not together, why aren't you sleeping with anyone else?"

Angela shrugged again.

"I guess, I've got it pretty good at the moment. It might upset the balance."

"Might upset the balance or upset Jordan?" Sharon asked dryly, already knowing the answer.

Angela didn't reply, concentrating instead on restocking the shelves.

"So you are aware that he's obsessively in love with you then?" Sharon asked, again Angela didn't answer, acutely aware that it was a rhetorical question.

"Angela if you don't feel the same, end it now before it gets messy."

Her friend paused at her activity and took a step down the small ladder.

"What if I don't want it to end?" she said quietly "Not that it matters much anyway. I'm leaving for Boston in a few weeks anyway and he's going to Seattle. I'm just enjoying what small time we have. Now hand me that box and stop talking".

Sharon nodded and went back to helping Angela. There was no reasoning with her over this clearly.

And so it continued for the rest of the summer and by the end of August despite early lapses into old habits, Jordan for the most part was an utterly one woman man. No words had ever been exchanged about what this actually meant, Jordan knew Angela knew how he felt about her. Hell everyone knew what he felt about her. They had gone way passed trying to make excuses for how they always seemed to end up together every night despite flirting and sometimes making out with other people. Everyone knew what happened once he brought her to the car to drive her home, they'd been caught a few times too. Leaning against his car, they'd laugh in slight awkwardness and go back to kissing in the dark of the cool of the summer night's darkness. For Jordan those three months had been the happiest of his entire young life, but like all good things, it had to come to an end.

It was night before Angela was due to leave for Boston, and her little summer of love had reached it's inevitable bitter end. She was due to leave first thing in the morning, her parent's old station wagon was already filled to the brim with her stuff. Everyone had been to say goodbye before she left for college, everyone but the one person she wanted to see most. Angela understood why Jordan had chosen not come, maybe for him it was hard. He'd told her once that he didn't do goodbyes, after his Mom died he said a goodbye always seemed too final. Sometimes it was safer just to slip away, then anything was possible. Still, Angela would been lying if she said his absence didn't hurt a little after all they'd become to one another. Just on the edge of love and too young and stupid to be everything they could be.

Angela had been just about to drift off to a dreamless sleep when a knock on her window shook her awake. A huge grin spread across her face as she sat up in her bed, knowing instantly it was Jordan.

"I was wondering when you'd show your sorry ass" she teased as he stepped into her room. Jordan smirked as she approached him, catching his hands in hers and intertwining their fingers

"You know me, late for the party like always."

They stood there smiling at one another, their hands and eyes still interlocked.

Dropping his gaze after a moment, Jordan's face became serious.

"You all packed for tomorrow."

Angela's radiant smile slowly faded as reality hit her.

"Yeah, everything but my tooth brush is the wagon in the garage." She replied wryly.

Jordan nodded and for a moment he looked lost, unsure of what to say next. The weight of what was coming tomorrow broke him inside more than he cared to admit.

"So….what about you, ready to go on the road with the band to Seattle?" Angela asked simply, not wanting to dwell on the elephant in the room. Letting go of Jordan, she leaned moved to sit on the armchair beside him.

"Almost, Shane says the bus should be roadworthy in a couple of days. I think Tino may kill him simply out of frustration before that happens" Jordan laughed as he leaned against the top of her dressing table.

"And you don't think you should help them considering you know ten times more about cars than they ever will?" Angela laughed, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Nah…It's funnier watching them squirm." Jordan grinned wolfishly. A delighted smile spread across Angela's face that made Jordan's thump painfully and in an instant he could feel that panicked, agony he'd had all-day hit him again. It would be months before he would see her smile like that again.

"I just realised how much I'm going to miss you Chase." He said sadly. Angela's eyes softened and she rose to her feet. Looking deep into his eyes as stepped in close to him.

"Not as much as I'll miss you Jordan Catalano." She whispered fiercely. Reaching out to her face, he tucked her hair behind her ear, his thumb wiping down to run over her full bottom lip.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" he said hopefully. Her brow n=knotted in confusion.

"What, now?!" she looked at him sceptically. Jordan shrugged and gave her another half smile.

"Unless you've got something better to do?"

Angela scoffed, knowing Jordan was the only person in world who had the power to forgo much needed sleep for the chance to have a midnight adventure.

"Sure, why not" she sighed in mock indifference. Unable to stop herself from roaring with laughter as Jordan pick her up onto his shoulder and brazenly raced out of her room and down the stairs.

"Angela where the hell do think you're going?" he father shouted after them in utter fury.

"I have no idea. See you tomorrow, I love you" Angela called up as Jordan ripped open the door.

The early morning air was soft and cool as Angela and Jordan lay in the back seat of his car. The canvas top of Plymouth was down as they stared up at the dusky pink tinged sky. Angela was flush against Jordan's chest as they lay there in complete contented silence. There was nothing that could be said, not with the confused simplicity of words. Dawn was fast approaching and time was too short for it to be complicated by rushed words of ill thought out goodbyes. The gentle hum of the radio and the sound of Jordan's steady heart beat was what Angela would always remember from that moment, from that final few hours together. Jordan had been the one to break the quiet.

Pointing at the fading light of a once bright night star, now dimming in the lightening sky.

"See that star right there" he murmured into her soft hair. Angela nodded in response.

"That star is you, shining bright even when no one else does."

Angela smiled into his chest, embarrassed by his uncharacteristic sweetness.

"And that one." she answered pointing to another dimming star not far from where he had showed her the Angela star.

"That one is you. Never too far from my heart". Jordan smiled sweetly as they caught each others eye . Reaching down to her face, he tilted her face so he could kiss her. No matter what happened future, where they ended up in the world, they would always have some small reminder that even across the greatest of distance of space and time, some small part of them would remain together. It was enough to numb the pain for then.

Jordan had driven her home not long after that and no finality lay in their goodbye, even though both knew that things would never be like this again. So close to being together. A time would come where they both would have to let go. As Angela had watched the world go by on the long drive to Boston, she wondered which one of them would be the one to step away first. They tried to make it work across the many states that separated them, but as time went by the phone calls became less frequent. The once twice weekly letters dwindled to once a month. As she expected, it was Jordan that disappeared first. The agony of loving so far away becoming too much for him to bear. One day the number she called for months seemed to disconnect never to be reinstated . There was no follow up call or letter to inform her of his new whereabouts or contact details or even an explanation of his actions. Just like that Jordan Catalano was gone. Even now ten years later the scars still ran deep within her, his bewitching blue eyes occasionally haunting her dreams. Yet she'd survived and carried on.

After she'd graduated from BC, she and Sharon had moved into a dingy apartment in Philadelphia. Twenty two and not entirely sure what to do next, the move seemed to make sense. Sharon had gotten into Law school not long after, whilst Angela eventually secured an internship at a small music magazine and worked nights at a club near their apartment to pay the bills. Eventually they fell into a routine of work, sleep and the occasional vacation home which ticked along repetitively until one faithful day three years after they'd moved into their apartment, a new neighbour moved in above them.

Angela was just about to leave the building for her Saturday night shift when a voice called out in a panicked yell for help from the floor above. Rounding the corner of the top the stairs of the flight above, Angela came upon a young dark haired man holding a large box in his arms as a lamp balanced precariously on this left leg. Clearly it had fallen from the top of the box. She couldn't see him properly, the box covering most of his face.

"Sorry" he said apologetically , his voiced muffled partially by the box" the lamp was my grandma's. She'll roll in her grave if I accidentally damage it".

Angela grabbed the lamp and placed it to one side as the man sighed in relief. Slowly lowering the box he breathed out loudly.

"Thank you so much, you're a life saver." he smiled in gratitude as he finally turned around to face her. Angela would have been lying if she hadn't immediately found him cute. The man was not much taller than her, but he was broad shouldered and lean .He had a mop of almost black wavy hair, a wide white smile and a delicate button nose, but it was his eyes that attracted her the most. They were a bright blue and seemed achingly familiar to her, like she'd known them all her life.

"It's fine, just being a good neighbour. Couldn't have you destroying your grandma's lamp" she smiled back, her heart thrumming in her chest. The man smiled again, this time a little wider.

"Well good to meet you neighbour, I'm Tommy Bukowski" he said genially, stretching out his hand. Taking it in her hand as they shook she grinned back "Angela Chase".

A week after that Tommy had asked her out and that was where it began, two years and two apartments ago. The so called great romance of Tommy and Angela.

It was difficult for Angela no to love being with Tommy. He was fun, gentle and most of all loving. From that moment until now it had be great. Everything she'd always wished it would be for her in a relationship. It was fun and easy and free from any problems. Yet Angela still felt as there was something vital missing, that feeling of a fire within, that unconscious and undeniable need she'd felt before, a thought that she always tried to quell and ignore. Knowing she would never be loved by anyone like Tommy loved her.

Yet as the ether cleared around Angela's brain and she was dragged back into the present day and long forgotten memories slipped away, her panic hit again.

Tommy looked up at her in confusion as he stayed upon one knee in front of her, the ring in his hand held out to her expectantly. The whole restaurant seemed to close in around her as all eyes were upon her.

"Angela?" Tommy said with almost hurt in his voice "aren't you going to say something?"

Angela shook herself internally, she would never find someone who loved her like he did. It was time to let go of the past once and for all. Plastering a smile on her face she nodded.

"Yes"

A couple of hours West of Philadelphia, Jordan Catalano sat in the kitchen of his grandfathers home turning an opened envelope in his hands. His father had unfortunately suddenly passed away a few nights before and he'd been dragged back to Pennsylvania to deal with what remained of his estate. As they'd cleared the house, Jordan had found a bunch of letters addressed to his father hidden in his closet from an address in Harrisburg. They were from a woman Jordan's father Tommy had been involved with before his Mom had gotten sick. It seemed that Tommy had called it off once the guilt of cheating with his cancer ridden wife had become to heavy a burden to bear. But by then the damage had been done, at least for this poor other woman. The letter in the envelope that Jordan held in his hands had a picture inside of a little boy. A boy who would now be not much younger that Jordan himself. His name was Tommy after his Daddy. The woman begged for Tommy Sr to reply,to come back to them and love them like he once did, but it seemed she never got a response. Jordan had always lived his life believing his Dad was a drunken asshole, but this was unforgivable. Jordan placed the letter on the table gently as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Once thing was now certain. He had to find his brother Tommy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi all, it's been such a long time since I've written a chapter! Life just gets busy. Hopefully I can get the next update up quicker. I hope you enjoy you this follow up. Lots of angst and drama still await you :)**

 **-RedCatCatalano**

* * *

Lists, that's what her life had become in the last three months since Tommy had proposed. Thousands and thousands of itemized to tasks to do and decide on. In his eagerness to make an honest woman out of her, Tommy had convinced her to get married that coming July to coincide with the first day they'd met. His enthusiasm was sweet but now made for a very busy upcoming few months. Since her freelance journalism career wasn't exactly paying the bills and Tommy's shifts had been reduced at work, Angela had taken back her part time job in the local club. So, between article deadlines and late night weekends in the club she almost did nothing but ticking items off their increasing long list of tasks to complete. It kept her so occupied, that there wasn't even time to acknowledge any sort of cold feet. Even if there was an undercurrent of uncertainty in her mind when she thought about what this meant for the rest of her life. Tommy was great, he loved her, so why was even now something didn't feel quite right? What was holding her back?

"Chase, are you evening listening to me?" Sharon smiled sardonically as she raised her eyebrow up at Angela.

"Sorry, I was just lost in thought for a moment" Angela blushed as she shoved her pondering back into her subconscious.

"You're always lost in a thought, sometimes I think you live your entire life in your own head" Sharon smirked as she reached behind her absentminded friend to look at a dress on the nearby rack.

"Sorry, you have my full attention now. I promise" Angela smirked back "Tell me once more about your date tonight".

Sharon studied the price tag on another item, picking up suitable pieces as she went. Turning around to face Angela once more she grinned.

"Well, he's an Associate in Meyers and Kelly, studied Law at Princeton and tonight he's taking me to that new Japanese place on 5th. The one who got that amazing write up online. Not the most handsome date, but charming none the less".

Angela rolled her eyes and shook her head at her reply.

"What?" Sharon asked with another sly grin.

"Your ambition knows no bounds. Using this poor guy as an in to the biggest firm in Pennsylvania. Shocking!" Angela laughed.

"That is not what I'm doing" Sharon laughed with mock outrage as she held a dress up in front of her in the mirror

"Oh really, isn't he the third guy from Meyers and Kelly you've found online and tried to set yourself up with in the last 3 months?"

"So…I cannot help if I like a certain type of man." She snapped back

"Ivy league graduate, well connected with a trust fund?" Angela smirked again.

"What? I have standards and a plan of where I want my life to go and this is an avenue to get there! We can't all be happy to settle for a bus driver Angela" Sharon snapped, glaring at her for a second.

Her face immediately softened as she took in the wounded look on Angela's usually bright face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that. Tommy is wonderful and I know he'll take care of you" Sharon spluttered awkwardly. Angela sighed and gave her a small smile.

"It's okay, I'm sure climbing the social ladder isn't all you want to get out of this ….so I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Right?"

Sharon bit her lip

"In this case, it is. He looks like Woody Allen". Angela burst into laughter as Sharon couldn't help but giggle too.

"In that case, buy the red dress. He'll be putty in your hands."

As they approached the register, Angela wondered what her life would be if she'd taken the same path as her oldest friend. Now edging closer to 28, their lives could not have been more different. Sharon was now an associate attorney at a moderately sized and well respected law firm, pulling in more per month than Angela would make in almost three. That said, she could also spend it just as well as she could earn it judging by the price tag on the dress Sharon had just bought. Yet Angela would not have swapped places with her, she liked her life, even if it was at times hard to find the extra cents at the end of the month. Angela had something that Sharon never could, a loving man to call her own.

"So how are things going with the wedding planning, had any thought on how to cut down the guest list? Sharon sighed as they sat down to eat lunch at the food court.

"Not a clue, my Mom and Dad just keep coming up with more cousins and family friends I didn't even know existed. Tommy's lack of immediate family makes them think they have carte blanche to invite everyone in Three Rivers! Brian Krakow called to tell me Danielle invited his sister, I mean what the hell! I haven't even seen Rachel Krakow in over fifteen years!" Angela groaned as she lay her head on the table.

"So….Tommy's not really inviting much family?"

"No, he only really has his Mom and grandpa, couple of cousins. But he's making up for it with the number of friends he has invited. I just hope there are major finals or game on or we're going to appease them with a big screen at the reception" Angela groaned again.

"For someone who is getting married in 6 months you don't sound so enthused" Sharon smiled.

"I'm just, tired I guess" Angela sighed.

Sharon looked at her quizzically for a moment, knowing there was something more in Angela's hang dog expression. She thought the better of asking the question, aware Angela would tell her eventually.

"Come on" Sharon said with a smile "let's get some fries to go with these hoagies, you look like you need the extra calories". Angela raised her eyes and chuckled lightly "Deal".

* * *

Jordan watched the endless stream of cars on the highway in the dark January gloom as the bus trundled passed them and turned off toward Philadelphia. Pulling his coat closer around his body he shivered as the last of the afternoon light disappeared behind the rundown former factories on the City outskirts. As he got closer and closer to his destination, the shivers that ran down his back got more and more frequent. Jordan's hands shook as removed his cell phone to check the directions one last time. For weeks, all he'd thought about was this day. He'd received the information on Tommy's location almost a month ago, but the courage to take the relatively short bus journey had eluded him at every occasion he'd tried to go. His old friend fear had returned as the minutes ticked down to zero. It was too late to turn back now.

Finding Tommy had proved more difficult than he'd initially thought when he'd found the letter. Jordan's first port of call had been to check the return to sender address, but that had proved fruitless as neither Tommy or his mother Sarah had lived in the area in ten years. He'd then tried the internet, but again Tommy Bukowski hadn't drawn up much useful information. The search results alone were too numerous, his name too common to return anything concrete. With all avenues at his disposal exhausted Jordan had used the last few thousand of his minuscule inheritance from Tommy Sr and hired a P.I to find his long lost little brother. Jordan didn't care about the money, in fact he was glad to be free from it. The last reminder of his deadbeat Dad squandered away to find the dark secret he'd kept for almost 30 years.

The investigator finally found a solid lead after a few weeks, an employment record for SEPTA. Jordan knew immediately it was Tommy when he saw the bus drivers ID photo. The mop of dark curls and vivid blue eyes almost identical to his father. A residential address had been attached to the employment record and Jordan had thought about writing, but as always, words had failed him. After staring at that picture more times than he'd cared to admit, he resolved the only way forward was to board the bus to Phillie and hope Tommy would want to talk to him.

As the bus came to its final stop, the Jordan sighed deeply. It was now or never. Picking up his small backpack he swallowed deeply and exited the bus. The cold evening air bit at his finger as he fumbled with his cell again, he pulled his woollen hat lower as the cold air seeped deeper into his bones. It was just gone 5pm, if he hurried he could make it to the bus depot before Tommy clocked out from his shift.

The snow was soft and slippery as Angela trudged her way back home from the bus stop, just another typical January day she thought to herself as she shivered in the early evening air. Thankfully she'd the night off from the club which meant this journey wouldn't have to be repeated in the even more bitterly cold night. Her afternoon with Sharon had certainly done her good, a welcome distraction from her busy and sometimes troubled mind of late. Angela conceded that almost everyone planning a wedding probably went through the same feeling of panic, trying to organise such an important event was stressful to say the least. Yet, she also had to admit that she struggled to muster even half the enthusiasm Tommy always seemed to have. She was just tired, there was no other reason for her lack of energy when it came to wedding decisions. Just tired.

Their apartment was dark and cold as she entered. Tommy had clearly forgotten to set the thermostat for 6 o'clock like she'd asked. Exhaling loudly, she turned the dial up as high as she could, knowing it would be at least an hour until the living room would be warm enough to tolerate. Removing her wet and snow stained boots she went through to her bedroom, resigned to warming up under the bed covers until the temperature rose in the apartment. She turned on the small tv on the night stand and settled in to watch a comedy rerun, her mind wandering as she watched the images with limited interest. Angela's eye began to grow heavy as she sunk deeper into the bed, her body temperature now back into a more comfortable range. It didn't take her long for her to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Any small amount of bravery Jordan had felt had dissipated the moment he stood outside the City's main bus depot. Reality took hold of him as he stood frozen to the spot, staring up at the grey non-descript building, knowing somewhere within it his long lost younger brother stood waving goodnight to his colleagues. He couldn't move, fearful Tommy would reject him on sight. Maybe he should have called at least. Shaking his head, he cursed internally, he hadn't come all this way to stop at the final hurdle. Breathing in deep he got ready to walk the final few steps when a voice stopped him.

"You looking for someone buddy"

Jordan turned to see a dark-haired man staring at him suspiciously. The young man was dressed in a worn pair of jeans and dark brown bomber jacket, a small duffel bag slung over his right shoulder. He'd clearly just left the depot after a shift. Jordan realized with a start that it was Tommy. His hair was shorter and less wavy then the picture Jordan had seen, the frown around his eyes obscuring his features. Jordan's eyes widened as he was suddenly tongue tied. Tommy arched an eyebrow at him as he decided internally whether to tell the wide-eyed and wild haired man to leave the depot. Jordan could see Tommy's suspicion of him was growing. He didn't blame him, Jordan had been staring at the building for well over 10 minutes. He was also not exactly looking his best. His limited clothing options from a life on the road made him look borderline homeless at times.

"Yeah" he managed to blurt out, stepping towards Tommy "You".

Tommy's eyes narrowed further as he took a step back.

"Look man, I don't know you and I think it's time you moved on. Please….I haven't got time to give you money. Sorry" He mumbled as he began to walk

Jordan couldn't help but laugh despite his brother's seriousness.

"I'm not after money. I swear. I just want to talk to you Tommy" he replied earnestly, jogging after the smaller man. Tommy froze and turned around slowly, his frown deep and unwelcoming.

"How do you know my name?" he said fiercely.

"Because I'm your brother" Jordan said seriously, stepping closer. Tommy's eyes widened as his mouth fell open. He searched the eyes of the strange man in front of me and saw no sign of deception. He was telling truth. The more Tommy looked, the more he saw his own eyes staring back.

"Who are you?" Tommy whispered, his lip shaking.

"Jordan Catalano and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to find you." he replied, the regret of the lost years clear in his voice.

The air was thick between them and Jordan wasn't sure what to expect next. He done exactly what he'd planned to do, the next move was down to his brother. Tommy puffed up his cheeks as he tried to hold back a sudden well of emotion. He'd reconciled with himself a long time ago that he was never going to meet the other half of his family, his mother had told him repeatedly that Tommy snr had wanted nothing to do with him. But now with Jordan suddenly in front of him, a tangible proof of another life, he found he didn't want that to be the case. Taking both of them by surprise, he threw his arms around Jordan and hugged him tight. A sob wracking his body as he fought to contain the joy. Jordan sighed with relief and hugged him back fiercely.

* * *

Angela nearly screamed when she opened her eyes and Tommy was suddenly right in front of her face.

"Dear God Tommy, you almost gave me a heart attack" she exclaimed. Tommy smiled broadly, his eyes slightly glazed as he gazed at her. Angela cocked her head to one side as tried to figure out why he was looking at her like that.

"What's going on? Why are you smiling like that?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

Tommy suddenly rushed forward and captured her lips in a quick kiss.

"Something wonderful has happened." He replied, his excitement clear "I need you to get dressed and come with me to Murphy's".

Angela looked at him as if he was crazy, his animated movements and extremely cheerful mood considering he'd been on a 12-hour shift was baffling.

"What? Why?" she managed say after a beat looking at him with a frown.

Throwing her new jeans at her, Tommy simply smiled.

"Just get dressed and maybe brush your hair, I'll explain on the way."

He had left the room again before she could argue or ask anything further.

A few minutes later, Tommy rushed her through the door and down the stairs before she could get a word in. Angela finally put her foot down as they reached the entrance to their building.

"Okay Tommy, please just tell me what this is about? What is this wonderful thing that's happened?"

Tommy looked at her anxiously, clearly eager to get the bar as soon as possible.

"I have a brother Angela" He said breathlessly "He turned up outside work today. That's why we need to get to Murphy's as fast as we can, he's waiting there."

Angela blinked rapidly as she tried to take it all in.

"Wait what?" she spluttered. Tommy grabbed her hand and pulled her forward.

"Come on, babe we don't have time for you to process." He grinned as he led down the block to the local Irish bar.

It was loud and busy as they stepped inside. The pulse of the sound system drowning out Tommy's excited speech as he spoke to her. Angela's head was spinning as she tried to take it all in. She strained to hear Tommy as he pointed to the bar, a name familiar in shape forming on his mouth.

"What?" Angela shouted stepping closer to Tommy.

"His name is Jordan, he's just by the bar" Tommy repeated, pointing again at a hunched figure on the nearest stool. Angela paused for a second as her already confused brain started to register red flags, the familiar form on the stool making her heart beat faster and faster. Her mouth grew drier and drier the closer she got to Jordan. Praying that the man in front of her wasn't who she suspected it was, but at the same time praying it was him.

"Jordan, this is my fiancée Angela." Tommy grinned as introduced her.

Jordan Catalano choked on his beer as he looked up and saw a very wide eyed and shocked Angela Chase staring at him. He began to cough as the liquid tried its best to enter his lungs.

"Damn man, slow down on the sauce" Tommy laughed as he tapped Jordan on the back. Totally oblivious to his fiancee's and brothers shock and discomfort.

Angela's heart thrummed rapidly in her chest as she took in her old friend. His face was hidden under a thick brown beard and his eyes obscured by his shaggy brown locks, but it was undeniable. Jordan Catalano was sitting in front of her. 10 years may have passed, but as soon as those endless blue eyes met her green one, she was hypnotized. Angela was overjoyed to see him, God how she had missed him over the years. At the same time, she cursed whatever force had decided this would be the circumstances in which they'd be reunited. Wait until Sharon heard about this. Of all the twist of fate that could have happened, this had to be the cruelest.

Jordan likewise was mesmerized by the sight of her. More beautiful then he remembered, the last ten years had made her even more striking. Her bright blonde hair was tied up which drew added attention to her expressive green eyes. He couldn't read the look in her eyes, unsure whether she was even happy to see him.

Tommy looked between Jordan and Angela, sensing something was off now. They had been staring at each other for longer than would have been expected. He began to suspect this was not the first time they had met.

"Do you guys know each to other?" Tommy said carefully.

"You could say that." Jordan replied with a smirk, looking at Tommy. He didn't dare look at Angela again lest he couldn't look away.

Angela cleared her throat, smiling awkwardly.

"We grew up together, we're old friends. Sort of…." she mumbled.

Tommy's eyebrows shot up almost to his hairline.

"Wow…really!" he laughed "Small world"

You have no idea Jordan groaned internally. Wanting nothing more than to flee this ridiculous situation.

"You both look like you've seen a ghost!" Tommy laughed again.

"It's been a long time, I almost didn't recognize her. But it's good to see you Chase" Jordan answered, a faint smile on his face as he finally looked over at Angela briefly. Her shell-shocked look faded a little as she caught the teasing glint in his eyes and she smirked despite herself.

"Same Catalano"

"Well, I didn't think this day could get any better. Clearly I was wrong." Tommy smiled.

Picking up his beer, he proposed a toast.

"To the beginning of a beautiful friendship".

Jordan clinked his bottle against Tommy's despite his increasing apprehension things wouldn't be quite that simple. Raising her bottle as well Angela added.

"To new beginnings".

Catching Jordan's eye as she drank out of the bottle, Angela could see in his face an underlying strain. Looking back at Tommy she hoped for his sake, things would remain uncomplicated.

The three of them had a few more beers, the atmosphere remained relatively light, mostly as Tommy did most of the talking. His excitement and unreserved happiness meant any potential awkwardness between Jordan and Angela was kept at bay. By the time the clocks started to ring 10 o'clock Jordan had almost relaxed enough to suppress the urge to run. Tommy was unable to stop the impulse to yawn as he finished his fifth beer.

"I guess that's my cue to say goodnight" Jordan laughed. Tommy looked disappointed at the suggestion but sighed in agreement.

"Probably a good idea. My shift starts at 6.30am" he sighed again forlornly.

"Say where are you staying tonight?" he asked Jordan. Pausing for a second, Jordan could feel his discomfort rising again. Knowing staying anywhere near Angela was not going to be a very good idea. The whole day had been so intense the added pressure of potentially being alone with her was more than he could handle.

"I'm just going to crash on a friend's couch downtown" he replied. Angela knew he was lying, but was quietly grateful for it.

"Nonsense, don't bother going all the way downtown. Our place has plenty of room and it's right round the corner" Tommy said warmly he looked over to Angela who tried to hide her obvious reluctance.

"He's more than welcome right Ange?" he prompted. Angela shook her head and gave Jordan a tight smile. Jordan hesitated but found himself agreeing to the offer. He didn't want to insult Tommy's earnest offer.

"Okay" he smiled.

* * *

Many hours later, Jordan lay on their couch. His mind was going around in circles as he stared at the pale ceiling, unable to sleep. Tommy had finally given up and gone to bed after they'd talked for hours. Angela had disappeared to bed as soon as they'd arrived back at the apartment, his presence there more she could bear. Not that he blamed her. The whole situation was messed up and needed to be dealt with asap.

Behind him he heard a floorboard creak, he lay still knowing immediately it was Angela. While he wanted the ice broken sooner rather than later, now was not what he had in mind. Jordan lay motionless for what seemed like an eternity waiting to see if she would come and take the next step. After a moment or two the floorboard creaked again and he heard her bedroom door close again. Clearly she'd lost her nerve. Jordan sighed and once more cursed fate. His brother was marrying Angela Chase. The girl that got away. He was screwed.

On the other side of the bedroom door, Angela breathed out heavily. Tears threatened to fall, Angela hated herself for her lack of courage. No words would help her voice what she was feeling right now. Even worse, she knew her problems were just getting started.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi all, I seem to have gotten my mojo back with this story so will hopefully be updating again soon. It is a lot longer than the last chapter as per a readers request. Thank you for your lovely reviews on the last chapter. Please feel free to leave me a review if you have any comments or suggestions. I hope you enjoy this installment! More drama to follow. Much love-RedCatCatalano**

 _His breath was short and ragged as he kissed her, his right hand resting on her cheek. Those soft and surprisingly full lips of his made her whole body ache with the simple change of pressure upon them. It was late, the sky outside inky black and starless as their bodies intertwined on her double bed. He rose above her and all she could see were eyes so bright and tender, wanting nothing more than her in that moment. Angela arched below him as she reached closer and closer to her peak. No one could ever compare to this, only he had ever made her body reach such strange and heady heights. It went on and on until her groans grew louder and longer. The feverish heat between them rose and rose. On and on until she could not contain it._

Angela jolted forward as she woke from her sleep, her whole body buzzing from the memory of the dream. She breathed deeply as she tried to slow her heart rate, an aching want throbbing from her core. It been the second time this week that she'd had the same intense and vivid dream, a long forgotten and suppressed memory that haunted her since Jordan's return. Yet another reason she'd been avoiding seeing him again since their spontaneous meeting in Murphy's two weeks ago. Thankfully she hadn't seen Jordan since that night, it seemed he was as reluctant to see her as she was to see him. It was only a matter of time until this mutual avoidance had to end. After all, she was marrying his brother. One day not too long from now, Angela would have to deal with the secrets that plagued her subconscious.

Jordan had returned to Three Rivers a few days after meeting Tommy to tie up some loose ends and was due back to Philadelphia in a few days. With nothing left for him in the town he was born and tired of life on the road, Tommy's enthusiasm and the offer of steady work in the bus depot was too good turn down. Angela couldn't blame him for taking the mechanics job, things had been tough for a lot of people in Pennsylvania, any steady work was to be grabbed with both hands. She would just have to get over it and just get used to the fact they would be a part of each other's lives forever.

Turning onto her side, Angela came to face the sleeping form of Tommy. He's breath short and shallow as he lightly snored. He stirred slightly as she ran her fingers down his cheek, her frown slowly easing as looked at her fiancé. Such a sweet guy didn't deserve such indecision from her. Despite all her feelings of unease over the last few weeks she knew for certain that she loved him, that marrying him was the right decision. Closing her eyes, she hoped the rose-tinted dreams of yesterday would release her and she would sleep guilt free. Nostalgia clouded her judgement and complicated her future. The past would remain behind her.

* * *

Surveying all that owned, Jordan was surprised how much space remained in his car. His worldly possessions did not amount to much, he had a few clothes and shoes, a beaten up black Fender guitar, some books and a box of second hand tools his grandfather had given to him on his sixteenth birthday. The life of a nomad was all he'd ever known for the best part of a decade; so it did not surprise him much that his whole life barely covered the back seat of his old friend Red. Sighing softly, he said his last goodbyes to Three Rivers and got into the driver seat. When he'd originally set off to find Tommy a few weeks before, staying in Philadelphia had never been part of his plan. But somehow, he'd been talked into permanent residence in the City. Jordan had no reason not to, nothing really remained for him in Three Rivers and he'd already done his time out West trying to escape real life. Shane and Tino were long gone, one had made it big as a session drummer in L.A while the other had gotten his ass thrown in jail because of drugs. Everyone else that had been a staple of his youth had left the town in the years since he'd been gone. Hell, his own father had sold the family home to settle his debts almost five years ago and moved into his grandfather's house. The last of money had been bequeathed to Jordan upon his death, the sum dwindled to a few hundred bucks when the last of Jordan's own debts had been paid off. With no home or roots left except a cruel and increasingly dementia addled grandfather, there was no reason to stay longer than necessary. Truth be told, he'd always hated the place anyway.

But the thought of taking to the open road once more was not as appealing as it once had been. Jordan had enjoyed his life in transit, but after a while following the course of an endless highway through cities and states had made him lonely. Furthermore, the security of permanent employment was too good to walk away from once he'd been offered the chance. Jordan couldn't remember the last time he'd actually had a proper job. Tommy had called in some favours and secured him a good position and it felt good to be running towards family and not away from it. It would be a fresh start in more ways than one. If he was being 100% honest, he did feel a little uncomfortable about being around Angela again. It was clear she did not want to be anywhere near him and that suited him quite nicely for the moment. But they couldn't avoid each other forever. Eventually they would need to find a way to be friends.

Jordan had used the last few hundred dollars he had in his pocket to secure a sparse but clean studio apartment a few blocks away from Tommy's place. Despite his brother's kind offer of a couch for a few weeks so he could find his feet, he had convinced Tommy given their wedding planning a house-guest may not be a good idea. Grudgingly his brother had accepted he had a point. The apartment was close enough for them to continue to get to know one another, but far enough away from Angela to avoid them seeing each other too much. All in all, it was the best scenario that could have come from the situation. Starting car, Jordan smiled as he thought about the future.

* * *

Angela was deep in thought as she sat in front of her laptop writing. With a 1000-word article due tomorrow morning, she was desperately trying finish the piece before leaving for work that night. The coffee shop was thankfully semi empty as struggled to find the right ending to her piece, the quiet buzz of the surrounding activity giving her the energy she needed to stay focused.

"Angela Chase, I knew I'd find your butt here. Why have you been avoiding my calls today?" Sharon exclaimed huffily as she took the seat opposite Angela.

"Cherski , now is really not a good time. I still have about 100 words to write before 6pm. My ass is toast if I don't." Angela replied flatly, not taking her eyes off the screen. Sharon cocked an eyebrow at her, surprised that the usually diligent Angela was leaving things so close to the wire.

"How come you've not done it yet, I thought you'd had all week to write it."

"I've just been a bit distracted…"

"With more wedding planning?" Sharon questioned.

"No I wish…that would be a welcome relief believe me" Angela sighed. Sharon looked at her again with added interest.

"Is it Tommy?"

"Nope, it's his brother." Angela answered clearly on edge. She groaned internally when she'd realised what she'd said. Even with the big shock of Jordan's return, she hadn't told Sharon yet about the revelation, afraid her best friends big mouth would give the game away to Tommy.

"His brother? What brother?" Sharon gasped leaning forward. Angela sighed and decided it was best to come clean.

"About, two weeks ago this guy turned up at Tommy's work claiming to be his long-lost half-brother. It seems Tommy's Mom had gotten pregnant by a married man." Angela paused and Sharon nodded clearly intrigued.

"The guy, well I met him. Sharon, Tommy's brother is Jordan."

Sharon's eyes narrowed in confusion, then a slowly look of comprehension spread across her features.

"As in Jordan Catalano from high school?" she scoffed loudly.

"Yep" Angela nodded, a frown darkening her eyes.

Sharon's face whitened as her mouth fell open.

"You can't be serious" she gasped.

"Unfortunately. I am" Angela smiled bitterly. Sharon's look of shock quickly changed as she couldn't help but laugh loudly.

"Oh wow, I am so glad it's not me that has to explain this to Tommy" she giggled "Have you told him about Jordan and you?"

"No!" Angela hissed "And you are not going to breath a word about this. Tommy does not need to know all the sordid details. As far as he knows we're childhood acquaintances"

Sharon cocked her eyebrow again.

"The only thing Jordan was every truly acquainted with was your tongue!" she smirked.

"Oh fuck off, you're not helping" Angela groaned, smiling despite herself.

"But please, do not breath a word to anyone, not until I can come to some sort of plan with regards to Jordan. Not Brian, not Ricki and especially not Rayanne. I will cross all those bridges when I come to them".

Sharon rolled her eyes, not best pleased at Angela's assumption she'd be indiscrete.

"Fine. My lips are sealed. But only because I'M maid of honour."

Angela gave her a half smile.

"How very noble of you" she laughed "now let's change the subject."

"Welll…" Sharon began. Angela laughed internally as her old friend launched into some other gossip and Angela resigned herself to an early start tomorrow to finish her article. But the distraction was more than welcome.

* * *

Dusk was beginning to fall as Jordan finally reached his new apartment, the encroaching gloom giving his new street a sinister glow despite his excitement. The lengthening shadows that covered the sidewalks and walls mirroring his own darkening subconscious. Trouble was not far on the horizon, that was one thing he was sure of. But as to how long until the shadows in his own mind broke out into the open, well that was something he'd have to wait and see.

"Hey" a familiar voice called out as Jordan exited his car. Smiling as he spotted his younger brother, Jordan's grin widened as Tommy approached and gave him a bear hug.

"Welcome home Catalano"

"Thanks Tommy Boy" he said with genuine happiness.

"Come on, let's get this shit hole ready for you" Tommy quipped as he released him, a teasing grin on his face. Jordan gave him a light shove as Tommy started to reach for one of the boxes in Jordan's car.

"Smart ass".

As they entered the apartment, Jordan was surprised to see a brand new double bed and kitchen table and two chairs. When he'd agreed to take on the studio apartment it had been completely devoid of any furniture. His mouth fell open as he realised it had been gifted to him.

"I didn't want you to have to sleep on the floor on your first night" Tommy blushed, feeling suddenly he'd overstepped the mark.

"Wow, Tommy you really didn't need to do this" Jordan said, getting a little choked up at the gesture "The job was more than enough."

His brother shrugged.

"I knew a guy who knew a guy and he gave me a good deal…." He mumbled, now embarrassed by his own actions.

"Well, I'm truly grateful." Jordan smiled and pulled his brother into a hug "Thank you."

Tommy return the hug and mumbled a 'you're welcome' gruffly.

"C'mon let's go unload the rest. Then I'm bring you out for a beer and a burger" Jordan grinned as he slapped Tommy playfully on the back.

"Deal" Tommy smirked.

* * *

The club was quiet. Considering it was Sunday night Angela wasn't exactly surprised. The usual regulars and borderline alcoholics tipped their hats to her as they entered. The same old lost souls and lonely hearts that came here every night for solace from the cold world outside. Angela knew she should find it depressing, but sometimes it made her feel hope. That even the most disconnected of us could find a place to have even a few moments of pure bliss. Their smiles as they swayed and spun to the music was a sight to behold, a snapshot of contentment in otherwise downtrodden existences.

"Contemplating the world and all its woes again" Rickie laughed as he threw an arm around her.

"Maybe" Angela smirked "Nothing else to do tonight".

"It is a bit a slow, even for a Sunday at 10pm." Rickie agreed as he begun to polish some glasses.

Angela's old friend had only recently joined the team at the club, his eagerness to please still evident even on these slow and uneventful nights. Like Angela, the part time job was being used to subsidise his meagre living while he worked on getting his dance career off the ground. He had tried New York, but the stiffer competition of the Big Apple had made him return to Pennsylvania a few months ago. Things were going well and Angela was sure it wouldn't be long until Rickie would be dancing full time again.

"So…" Ricki began, trying hard not to jump straight into the conversation he'd been dying to start all night.

"You've been quite distracted tonight, actually for the last week. Are you alright" he asked with genuine concern. Angela eyed him suspiciously, his open face easily read even for her.

"Sharon told you didn't she" Angela said huffily, crossing her arms.

"Told me what?" Ricki tried to feign innocence.

Angela rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm going to kill her" she grumbled "She couldn't even keep her mouth closed less than 6 hours."

Rickie gave her pained look as couldn't help but see her face darken.

"She honestly didn't mean to, I just asked her why you hadn't been yourself lately….and she mentioned it was something to do with family, I pried….and well…"

"It's okay Rickie, it's not as if I could hide this forever. All I ask is you don't say anything to Tommy." She sighed in resignation, quietly hopeful that this would remain contained.

"So…"Rickie began again "Are you okay?" leaning beside on the bar.

"Honestly, I don't know how to feel. I mean, it's Jordan Catalano Rickie. The boy who literally got away and never returned…..and I have to stand there pretending like it doesn't affect me, that I am so happy to have him in my life. But I'm not" she answered quietly, hers downcast.

Rickie put his arm around her and pulled her into a hug. She returned the gesture readily and squeezed him tightly.

"You'll be okay Angie, things will be fine" he whispered.

"What would I do without you?" Angela smiled as she pulled away.

"Dance less, dress worse or most tragic over all….be devoid of my highly entertaining man drama" Rickie smiled. Suddenly something caught his eye from across the room. Despite the low lights of the club and loud music, his attention was swiftly drawn to the two new guests. Angela watched as his face fell and uncharacteristic worried frown spread across his face.

"Speaking of man drama, looks like trouble is headed your way."

Angela turned to see Jordan striding across the dance floor toward the bar, each step he took was like shot of adrenaline into her blood stream. The rhythm of her heart accelerating to a rumble in her chest. His eyes were fixed upon her face and a half smirk planted on his lips, that same cocksure look he'd always worn as a young man. Devilishly attractive even under that thick beard and disheveled hair. Tommy followed not far behind him, she could see from his wavering gait that he had more than a few beers. Great she groaned internally, this was a recipe for disaster if ever there was one.

Jordan didn't say anything as he approached the bar first, his gaze not leaving her face as his smirk deepened. The predatory look in his eyes made her uncomfortable, no doubt fueled by the alcohol pumping through his veins. One thing was certain, she had to make sure Jordan didn't say a damn thing to Tommy in his current state.

"Hey babe" Tommy grinned widely "I have come to rescue you from your boring night. Want a dance?"

"Thank you but I can't Tommy. You know my shifts not over until 2.30am."

"Come on, a five-minute dance with your fiancé is allowed now and then on a shift" he grinned cheekily. Looking back at Rickie apologetically, she saw him nod with a knowing smile.

"Okay, but just one dance Tommy. Then you need to go home, alright? You have to be in work at 7am tomorrow" Angela said seriously as she exited the bar. Beside her Jordan still hadn't moved, watching the exchange in silence. His blank expression was really starting to unnerve her now.

"You'll need to go too Jordan, you're both too drunk to be here" she added seriously, her eyes hard as she looked back at Jordan again.

"Okay…okay. But first I get my dance" Tommy laughed as her lunged forward and carried her to the dancefloor.

Clearing his throat behind Jordan, Rickie gave him a tight smile as he turned.

"It's nice to see you Catalano" he said sheepishly. It took Jordan to recognise him, Rickie once baby face now chiselled and handsome.

"Vasquez! Wow it's been too long! You look great. Still dancing?" Jordan said with a big smile.

"Never stopped. I've just gotten into a small company in the City" Rickie replied with a warm smile.

"Good, glad to hear one of us is still trying to make it" Jordan replied with sudden bitterness.

Before Rickie could ask anything further, Jordan's face darkened, his thoughts obviously elsewhere.

"I'll see you around Rickie" he said gruffly as turned to leave. He paused as he was immediately presented with the sight of Tommy and Angela swaying together to a slow song in the centre of the dancefloor. Visibly swallowing, Jordan looked back at Rickie for a moment.

"Please tell Angela I haven't said anything to Tommy…..and I'm not going to. Not a word"

"I will" Rickie answered. Without another word or look Jordan walked away and into the night.

Once he reached the sidewalk, Jordan sought out his pack of smokes. The rush of nicotine was the only thing that could calm his sudden rush of anxiety. The sight of her was starting to mess with his head again.

"C'mon Catalano. Get your shit together." He mumbled as he stamped home.

By the time Tommy had finally agreed to set off home Jordan was long gone. Angela looked around in confusion.

"Where's Jordan?"

"He bolted out of here not long after Tommy dragged you out there"

Angela nodded as she looked off into the distance as her thought drifted elsewhere.

"Well I guess that's probably a good thing, I'll just call Tommy a cab home".

"He did say one thing before he left." Rickie said as she started to move away.

Angela looked back at him with interest.

"He said he hasn't said anything to Tommy and he never will. Guess the only person you need to worry about is Sharon." Rickie sighed with a slight smile.

Angela's face brightened somewhat at the revelation.

"I guess not"

* * *

Jordan's dreamless sleep was rudely interrupted a few hours later by the sudden shrill call of his cell phone. Bleary eyed he barely looked at the call screen before answering.

"Hello" he mumbled, his tongue dry and useless in his tired mouth.

"Good you're awake." Tommy's cheerful and still drunk voice answered.

"Dude what time is it?" Jordan moaned fighting the urge to tell his brother to fuck off.

"Just after 2.30am."

"Why are you calling me this early" Jordan groaned again, rubbing his barely functioning eyes.

"I need a favour." Tommy replied more seriously.

"Can't it wait till tomorrow."

"No…I need you to do it now if you can. It's important."

"Okay I'm listening." Jordan said as he sat up, knowing by the tone in Tommy's voice he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"I need you to go get Angela from the club. I accidently took her purse earlier when she gave me cash for the cab home. I don't want her walking home by herself".

"Why can't you go get her." Jordan mumbled, already knowing answer to the question by the slurring of Tommy's speech.

"Because, honestly I'm too fucked up. I had a little extra booze when I came home and I can't get up." He laughed.

"Jesus Tom, you need to drive a 5-tonne bus in 5 hours. Just go to sleep and I'll go get her."

"Thanks, I owe you one" Tommy replied before hanging up.

Jordan sighed as he pulled his pants back on. This was a perfect start to his life in Philadelphia. Grabbing his car keys, he hoped he wouldn't get pulled over by the cops.

* * *

The night was bitterly cold as Angela exited the club, having been unable to find her purse she'd resigned herself to the long walk home and she was not pleased to find it was even colder than she'd anticipated. Rickie had suggested walking her home but given he lived almost 20 blocks from her building she had gratefully declined. Pulling her coat as close to her body as possible against the freezing wind, she began her long walk home. Angela's feet ground to a stop as a familiar form caught her eye.

Dressed in his old sheepskin coat and black Doc Martins, the sight of Jordan leaning against his car with a smile immediately brought back to her youth. Angela had always loved the way he leaned, so effortlessly cool and carefree. She'd once found his aloofness enigmatic and intriguing. It wasn't until she'd really gotten to know him that she'd realised he wasn't trying to be mysterious, he'd been utterly baked and unable to string a coherent sentence together. She'd always liked him best in his more lucid moments, drugs very rarely improved him. The things that once drove her 15-year-old mind crazy now seemed ridiculous, even now though Angela had to admit, boy could that man lean good.

"Hello stranger" Jordan said cordially, his smile remaining despite the narrowing of her eyes at him.

"Jordan what are you doing here? What do you want?" she said with a hint of annoyance, she hadn't been expecting to see him again so soon.

"I want what any man wants at 3am" he said with a flirtatious grin, eyes roving up and down her body. Angela scoffed in disgust at his actions.

"You are not serious Jordan" she said crossly

"Breakfast Angela, I want breakfast." Jordan said with a smirk, amused she had fallen for his ruse.

Angela couldn't help but quirk a smile as she blushed at her own foolishness.

"Okay, but what are you doing here" she asked again with curiosity.

"Tommy sent me to come get you, he didn't want you to walk home." Jordan answered simply

"And he was too drunk to do it himself".

Angela sighed in slight exasperation.

"Well I appreciate the gesture and I'm sorry that he got you out of bed, but I think I'll be fine." she said firmly, walking back towards the street.

"You can't be serious Angela, it's 3am and absolutely freezing" Jordan retorted, pushing off his car and following behind her.

"I'm a big girl, I'll be fine" she shot back.

"Why are being so pig-headed? I'm trying to do you a favour" Jordan replied, his exasperation growing. Angela stopped and turned to look back at him.

"You know damn well why I won't get back in that car Jordan" she hissed angrily, tears pricking at her eyes. Jordan stood there sheepishly, staring at the ground for a moment.

"So don't get in the car, I'll walk with you. I've got the time." He said quietly "I'm not letting you walk all that way by yourself".

"Just go home Jordan, I'm too tired for this. Please" Angela begged, hoping he would just drop it.

"No Angela, so you can either get this over with and get in the car, or walk with me in awkward silence for 15 blocks. The choice is yours" Jordan replied, the look in his eyes telling she wasn't going to win this battle.

"Truth be told, you and I seriously need to talk anyway."

"Fine. But if we're having this talk you better buy me some pancakes" she muttered angrily striding passed him back towards the car. Jordan chuckled as he relished the rare victory.

"With bacon, sausage and maple syrup?" he joked as he got in the car beside her. Angela couldn't help but smile a little as she realised he remembered her favourite order.

"Yeah and maybe a hash brown." She replied sardonically.

"Deal." He smiled.

A few minutes later they sat opposite each in the diner, the warm smell of coffee wafting up from their cups on the table. Now in front of Angela, Jordan found himself tongue tied and unable to meet her in the eye. Angela was having a similar problem, her instincts screaming at her to flee. Yet, much as she was ashamed to admit, there was a large part of her ecstatic to be in Jordan's company again. It felt so familiar, like going home after a long time of absence. Reliving the things that remained and never changed, while also discovering all that had transformed in your time away. He was still so handsome, eyes a vibrant shade of baby blue, dark hair so thick and wild and that mouth she had kissed countless time. Even close to thirty he still hadn't lost that youthful pout. Jordan similarly was secretly very happy having Angela here alone with him. Just as beautiful as the last day he saw her almost 10 years ago. He hoped before the night was out he'd get to see that brilliant smile of hers, even for just a moment.

Running his fingers through his hair as his thoughts wandered as to how best to start this difficult conversation, he got his wish. Angela sniggered out of the blue, a big smile on her face as she looked at him with humour.

"What?" he said with a slight laugh, a little confused by her sudden mirth.

Angela pointed at his hair and he turned to look at his reflection in diner window. Sure enough it was standing up on end in every direction like he'd been electrocuted.

"Oh…guess I need a haircut then" he laughed as he tried to flatten it somewhat, relaxing a little especially when he saw Angela's grin widen.

"And maybe a shave" she added with a teasing tone.

"Nah my beard makes me look dignified" he retorted with a cheeky smirk.

"Nope, it makes you look like a hobo" Angela laughed again.

Jordan shook his head as he grinned, leaning forward in his seat to cock an eyebrow at her.

"Angela Chase you are just mean"

"Just telling you the truth, it's not my fault you can't take the constructive criticism" she returned impishly, knowing this conversation was edging closer and closer to flirting. Dangerously heading towards old habits. Thankfully for Angela their tête-à-tête was interrupted by the arrival of their food. Waffles and fried chicken for Jordan and pancakes for Angela.

It was a long enough distraction to end the temporary thaw in their situation. Soon they were back to silence as they both avoided the elephant in the room. Eventually Angela had enough of the unease between them.

"Rickie told me what you said earlier, you know about telling Tommy." Angela said solemnly, looking at him straight in the eyes "I guess I just want to say thank you".

"It's nothing, Chase. No sense telling him anyway, it's practically ancient history" Jordan responded with sincerity.

"Yeah I guess" Angela said quietly.

"I'm sure you can tell him when you think it's right" Jordan added with a tight smile, not really believing that Tommy was ever going to take it well. Playing with her food, Angela didn't meet his eye.

"The past is the past" she murmured "maybe it's better if it stays behind us".

"Not everything can stay buried forever" Jordan said flatly.

"It can, if you try hard enough to forget it like I've had to" Angela said more harshly than she meant. Jordan's face paled as saw the underlying anger in her eyes break through. Clearly underneath it all she was hurting from what he had done, his apparent lack of care for his disappearance years before. Jordan knew if they had any chance of being friends again he had to tell her the truth.

Taking a deep breath, he chose his next words very carefully.

"You know I think I owe you an explanation, you know, about what happened out West. Why I stopped calling" he said softly. Angela shook her head and glared at him.

"After all these years Jordan, you don't owe me anything. As you said it's ancient history."

The bitter tang of her words struck him deep, knowing the wonderful friendship they had had was dead and buried. Lost to the pain of wasted time.

"It doesn't mean you don't deserve an explanation, to understand." Jordan replied gravely, looking deep in her eyes. Angela held his gaze with an unfriendly glare for a few more moments, but the sincerity in his eyes made her icy indifference slowly melt. For the first time in years she began to question why he'd abandoned her on purpose.

"Fine, tell me then. I'm listening" she answered gruffly, crossing her arms as she leaned back into the diner chair.

Jordan gave a quick smile of thanks, relieved she'd given him the chance to explain.

"When I went to Seattle with Shane, Tino and Marcus to try make something of the band, something happened. I got caught up in something bad." Jordan sighed as he leaned forward, his blue eyes filled with bitter regret.

"Angela the reason I stopped calling was because I was in prison. It's the reason I never came back." Jordan said sadly. Angela's eyes widened as her mouth fell open in shock, any lingering anger at him disappeared as she instantly understood.

"Prison, why Jordan?" she exclaimed more loudly than she meant to. Angela blushed as she saw people turning to stare at them.

"Sorry, that was a bit loud" she mumbled awkwardly, turning back to Jordan with her face aflame.

Jordan gave her a small smirk, glad to see Angela's uncanny ability to blush at the slightest provocation had not changed. Regaining her composure, she cleared her throat.

"Go on Jordan."

"I got arrested for possession of marijuana. I had only a few grams more on me than what constitutes possession for personal use, but more than enough to get me in trouble. The cops said I was a dealer and I couldn't prove I wasn't. In reality, I'd just picked up the bag for Tino, but when I wouldn't name names the courts sentenced me to two years." Jordan sighed.

"The worst part was when I found out a few days later Tino had wanted the drugs for a record executive. That I'd been an unsuspecting drug mule. Too stupid to realize what was really going on."

Jordan frowned as he swallowed the sudden acidic feeling of betrayal and regret.

"On the cusp of getting a record deal, I pissed it all against the wall for some low-level industry jackass. After 18 months, I got out early for good behaviour, but the damage was done. Shane had moved on and Tino, well he got caught with an even bigger haul of coke and was put in prison for 10 years. And that was it, the dream was dead. And I was….written off. I spent the next few years drifting around working any jobs I could find." Jordan spat out sullenly, hating the look of pity in Angela's eyes. The last thing he wanted was someone feeling sorry for him.

"Why didn't you try write Jordan, I would have tried to help you somehow." She said dejectedly, reaching out to take his hand.

"I couldn't, I couldn't let you see me like that. I tried so many times to call you, but I was too ashamed. I decided you were better off without me. I wasn't good enough for you anymore."

Angela smiled at him sadly, her eyes starting to well up as she was hit with a rush of emotion. Like a sense of relief, she didn't know she needed. Because now she knew, Jordan Catalano had cared about her. Loved her so deeply he had to let her go.

"Don't you think I was the one who should have made that decision." Angela said with that same poignant smile, her heart starting to ache in a way she couldn't ignore.

"But you wouldn't have, I would have dragged you down with me and I….couldn't do that to you." Jordan said miserably "I had to disappear."

Squeezing her hand tightly, he reached to wipe the tears away from her cheek gently with his other hand. Despite her dejection, Angela found herself leaning into his touch for a moment. Realising how inappropriate it was Jordan slowly removed his hand from her cheek. Angela's lip started to tremble, unable to keep everything inside anymore.

"And it broke my heart Jordan. Shattered it until Tommy put it back together again."

"I know and for that I will never stop being sorry." He answered remorsefully "But I want you to know, there hasn't been a day I've not thought of you."

"I missed you too" Angela said unhappily. Jordan smiled at her affectionately, wanting so badly to hold her in his arms. To sooth the sadness that poured out of her every tear. But he knew better than to do that, things were different now.

"I guess things worked out exactly how they were supposed to, I know Tommy will take care of you. He'll make you happier than I ever would have. We've both moved on." Jordan sighed, only half believing the words he said. Angela wiped the last of her tears and took a deep breath.

"Yeah we have, thank you for telling me everything. It somehow does help." She said with sincerity.

"Friends then?" Jordan asked with a slight smirk.

"Always" she replied with a warm smile "we never stopped".

Jordan gave another smile filled with affection but didn't reply.

Silence fell between them again, charged with all the unspoken things they couldn't say. The words of loss and love, regret and mistakes. But it was too late for the words of the past, too much time had passed.

Jordan rubbed his beard as tiredness gradually hit him.

"It's almost 4.30, I should probably get you home" he said blankly. Nodding in agreement Angela rose with him and headed to the door.

The drive was silent as they drove the last few blocks to Angela's apartment in the Plymouth. The car was almost exactly as Angela had remembered, the same worn interior and slight smell of pine. It reminded her of simpler days and stolen kisses in summer nights. Jordan face was unreadable when Angela stole sly looks at him. She wanted some indication of what he was thinking. Did he feel that same pull of nostalgia as she did this in this moment?

Jordan could see her staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He didn't show his discomfort, but didn't like the way she was looking at him. It was akin to how she used to look at him as kids, that wistful and curious gaze he'd come to associate with infatuation. Angela blinked rapidly as if correcting herself and stared out the car window away from Jordan. Stopping just outside her building, Jordan just stared straight ahead unable to speak.

"Thanks for the ride home" Angela said sweetly. Jordan gave a half-hearted smile and nodded in acknowledgement.

"It's cool" Jordan answered softly. Staring at him for a moment, Angela could sense a tension of awkward unease spread between them. Unable to shift the feeling, she reached for the handle of the car. Pausing a moment, she looked back him.

"Do you still play anymore?" Angela said curiously. Jordan taken aback by her random question frowned as he thought.

"No really, only for myself now" Jordan replied honestly "Why?"

"We have this open mic night going on in about 2 weeks at the club, you should come along…..if you're feeling up to it." Angela said hopefully, fully expecting a sarcastic comment in reply. To her surprise a bright smile filled his face.

"I'd like that." he answered with genuine enthusiasm.

"Good" Angela smiled back and Jordan was frozen by the sight of that rare smile of Angela's that shone brighter than any star in the sky. That smile she had only ever reserved for him. Without thinking he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"It was good to see you Angela" he said huskily, his face so close to hers she could feel his breath on her skin. Taken aback by his action, her smile faltered a little. Panic bells ringing in her head she felt the need to run.

"It was good to see you too Jordan. I better go before Tommy gets worried." She said bluntly, turning without a second glance and exiting the car. Jordan knew he'd taken things too far as he watched her practically run from the car. One step forward, 10 steps back. How could he be so stupid! Roaring the engine into action Jordan tore down the road and away from the building. Things were far from resolved between them it seemed. Try as he could there was one thing he could not deny, Angela Chase still had a power of him he did not understand.


End file.
